Did Kmart Jingle Your Bells?

JingleBells

Did you see it? Were you SO offended? Did you want to gouge out your eyes at the disgusting display of men ringing their “bells” to the tune of Jingle Bells? WHAT WOULD JESUS THINK OF THIS LURID DISPLAY OF MANFLESH???

Did you also notice that these men were fully clothed and not really doing anything except swinging their hips… something a little known artist named Elvis was wont to do 50 years ago when he was corrupting the youth of America with his “Devil’s Music” of Rock and Roll?

The controversy over the #ShowYourJoe campaign has reached a fever pitch online, with “conservatives” and “moral Americans” decrying the ad as tasteless and inappropriate and MUCH too sexual for the average viewer or young children to handle. It’s true. I found it so immoral and offensive the first time I watched it that I had to watch it again. And again. And again… just to make sure that I was truly offended. I may even have to watch it a few more times just for um, research…

showyourjoe

So apparently we can’t be funny anymore. Or laugh. And I am perverse and sick for laughing like a fool every.damn.time I see it.

We can’t laugh anymore because men in boxers are going to cause the degradation of us as a people.

STOP THE INSANITY

As far as I’m concerned that ad was genius. The people on Madison Ave (or wherever you advertising geniuses reside these days) should be applauded because boy are people talking about Jo Boxer. And what you choose to take away from it is your own… but seriously, are you really going to shield your 13 year old daughter’s eyes because someone is shaking their hips in long shorts to an already over commercialized holiday song? I guarantee, they’ve probably seen much worse but they just aren’t telling you for fear of your fire and brimstone speech. They aren’t twerking (which apparently will bring doom and destruction to us all), they aren’t naked (because this isn’t cable), they aren’t even doing anything lewd (at least according to anyone with a sense of humor).

My 3 year old thought it was hysterical… because he’s innocent and I didn’t make it into something bad. And because it was funny! And things are allowed to be funny! And when did we get so damn sensitive about what was moral and right and appropriate for ALL THE PEOPLE? Stop being so damn judge-y and have a little fun people.

And for all you people who thought it was immoral and tasteless? Maybe you need to be getting your bells rung a little more often.

Have you seen the new Kmart Commercial? Click below and prepare to be delighted disgusted.

 

 

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