I have been failing at patience lately, miserably. I am impatient in the grocery store, impatient with my parents and very very impatient with my toddler. I am grinding my teeth, getting stress headaches and being peevish and snappish to everyone. It is not a very pleasant way to live. And apparently it is not a very pleasant face I am presenting my toddler with… especially when he tells me that I can’t yell at him anymore because it makes him sad.
*omg parenting fail*
So my goal for the month is to try out a few new tricks to be more patient with my toddler and the world around me.
1) Give yourself more time :
This is probably one of my greatest faults. I push things to the absolute last minute, then it’s a race to get everyone dressed and out the door and somewhere on time. This struggle is generally one of the main catalysts for a meltdown on either the kidlet’s or my part. He doesn’t want to get dressed and so I yell that it’s time to go and we’re late and WHY AREN’T YOU READY YET? Hey dumbass, he’s only 2.5. It takes some time to get ready, and we go through the same routine every morning. You’d think I would have learned, right?
2) Take a deep breath :
I haven’t been focusing on my breathing lately, and I find that when I step back and take a deep breath, the red haze that threatens my vision starts to diminish. A few calming breaths helps to bring me back into focus and reality.
3) Put it into perspective :
Sometimes I have a tendency to lose perspective in the heat of the moment. Does it really matter that the person checking out in front of me is taking forever? Is there REALLY someplace I have to be that is SO important that I have to make huffing and puffing noises and roll my eyes when it takes 5 minutes more than it should? Nope, not really. And making all of those huffing and puffing noises and rolling my eyes? Only makes me look like a total asshole.
4) Assess the situation :
What’s really going on here? Am I really mad that someone is making me late, or my toddler is driving me crazy? Or maybe it’s because I didn’t get enough sleep last night and I am peevish and snappy from being tired. Or maybe I’ve procrastinated a deadline or chore that I KNOW I should have finished and I’m feeling guilty about it. Often times, at least in my life, it’s an underlying issue that is making me a raging impatient beeyotch, as opposed to the fact that my toddler won’t put on his socks.
5) Get more sleep :
Tired = cranky. Nuff Said.
6) Get Real:
When it comes to my toddler I have to get real sometimes. He may have excellent speaking and reasoning skills, follow directions like a champ and be generally pleasant to be around. But as a dear friend put it, at the end of the day? He’s still 2.5 years old. I can’t expect him to act like a 6 year old because he ISN’T 6. He isn’t rational, he’s a bundle of emotions and senses and new found independence. This is his time to test me, and so far I’ve not been getting very good grades.
So this is my plan. To be present and thoughtful of my interactions with people. Because I don’t want the grocery store clerks to run screaming when they see me. And I don’t want my toddler to tell me that I make him sad.
Because that just breaks my heart.
What do YOU do to find more patience in your life?
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