Everyone kind of laughs and rolls their eyes when a pregnant woman starts “nesting”. In case you don’t know any pregnant woman, or live in a cave, nesting is the innate desire to clean/craft/cook/bake/create SOMETHING because a baby will be in your house soon. Look at birds building their nests in preparation for a clutch of eggs, or your pregnant dog hoarding blankets from all over the house and you’ll see that it really is a “real thing” and not just some crazy excuse to reorganize your spice cabinet. 
The problem is for some women, nesting doesn’t make you clean… it makes you nuts. More specifically (since I’m not sure that “nuts” is a clinical term) it gives me crazy pregnancy anxiety, which manifests itself in almost complete shut down mode every week or so. Lately it’s been so bad that I’ve been having dreams that my teeth are falling out…
Yeah… that kind of pregnancy anxiety.
I remember not understanding what was going on last time around, as I dealt with hot flashes and rising blood pressure and panic attacks at the thought of not getting a certain project done, or dealing with someone’s ineptitude. This time around, I’m completely freaking out over my inability to control my space, to keep my head above water with everything that I feel needs to be done, while still managing to keep my first child alive/fed/dressed in clean clothes and my house not looking like a bomb went off.
It’s not been a pretty few weeks around here.
I have multiple projects that I want finished… three rooms need to be redone in preparation of the big event since we’ll be shuffling the Big Kid into a new room, losing a guest room in the process and oh yeah, bringing home Little Kid (who is a different gender and therefore I would like her to have something cute and girlie as opposed to a room full of airplanes and brown). This is on top of making dinner for my family every night, trying to get laundry finished and put away and picking up every day after the hurricane that is my toddler rips through the house. Add to this writing deadlines, a desire to stay healthy and sane by maintaining my workouts and making sure that someone actually plays with my toddler, since I feel like I’m neglecting him.
Suffice it to say, I’m drowning.
Now I know that anxiety isn’t great for me or for Baby Girl. I also know that it is normal to feel this way, since I am being overrun by hormones and they affect everything from the shine of my hair to the amount of stress that I feel. But I think it’s developing appropriate coping mechanisms that’s so important.
* Breathe * No seriously. Taking a second to either meditate, or just sit down and chill out in a quiet room really helps me to re-center myself. Yoga has been a god-sent, just like last time, and really helps me to focus on something other than my to-do list. Sometimes just sitting down and taking a few deep breaths can do wonders. And it also helps when I’m about *here* with my kid.Give yourself a time-out… it’s ok.
* Exercise * Oh god, trust me I’m trying. Working out makes me feel so much better when I’m stressed anyway, and during pregnancy it seems to really help. Swimming seemed to help last time once I got too big to run… Something about the quiet under water and all that.
* Eat Well * When I eat like crap, I feel like crap. End of story. This pregnancy has been VERY different with the sugar I’ve been craving, and I’ve had to fight myself almost every day to keep myself on track. This is not to say I deprive myself of sweets in moderation, but I have to remind myself that as good as that plate of brownies is going to taste, eating the whole thing isn’t really going to make me feel better or less stressed out.
* Sleep * Sometimes easier said than done during pregnancy, but make an effort. Sleep will at least make you feel refreshed in the morning, as opposed to feeling like you’re already behind when you get up… Of course I’m writing this at midnight, so maybe I should start taking my own damn advice.
* Make Lists * With so much rattling around in my head, I’ve found that writing down EVERYTHING I need to do has helped me to at least get a handle on it. Drawing a line through something that’s been accomplished makes me feel amazing about myself, even if it’s just, “Wake up and brush your teeth.” Hooray! I brushed my teeth today! One thing down, a gazillion to go.
* Talk to someone * So I’ve always hated unloading on friends with a big dramatic story about how stressed out/tired/anxious/whatever I am, but sometimes it just needs to be done. But since this anxiety will last for at least a few more months/years/decades (at least for me), I feel like I might be risking friendships if I continually unload on the same people. If this is the case for you too, talk to a professional. All of this stress isn’t good for you, isn’t good for the kid and isn’t good for your relationships. After all, it may just be crazy nesting pregnancy anxiety, but your husband/kids/family have to deal with you as well, and if you’re anything like me, you’re not all that pleasant to be around in the heat of the moment. Sorry everyone.
No matter what though, know that if you are “nesting” and feel like you are a little bit out of control of things? You certainly aren’t alone. Every pregnant woman has experienced this at some point or another and don’t let ANYONE tell you that what you are feeling is weird or wrong. And of course, if you start to have thoughts that are detrimental to your health or the health of your baby, get your ass to a doctor, because pre-partum depression and anxiety is a REAL thing and your doctor can help.
But no matter what, it’s your body and you are the one living in it. So make sure to listen. Even if it’s telling you to go make a quilt.
Don’t laugh, I’m doing that right now.
