Are you pregnant? Are you planning on having a Doula there? Do you even know what the hell a Doula is?? 
Doula is the Greek word for “woman servant” and at least for me conjures up the image of a woman from ancient times, dressed in a toga and like, pouring oil on my feet or something. Nowadays, while they won’t clean your house or cook you dinner and I think if you asked her to pour oil on your feet she might look at you funny, they are there to support you through the magical experience that is childbirth.
And by magical birth experience I mean, medicated, un-medicated, C section, home birth, birthing in the woods… whatever kind of birth experience you’d like, a Doula can be there. Instead of a woman servant in the traditional sense, I prefer to think of the doula as a totally kick ass birthing cheerleader.
Don’t get me wrong, a true doula is a completely legitimate, trained and certified professional, who has completed hours of training, observation and attended many a birth to achieve her doula certification. What she won’t do is replace your doctor, midwife, nurse or partner in the birthing process… Instead she (or he for that matter) is there to provide emotional and physical support, suggest alternatives to make you more comfortable, at ease, less prone to grab your husband by the scrotum and squeeze… that kind of thing.
There are also proven benefits to having a doula in the room (besides your husband’s ability to have more children)…
A doula helps to reduce negative feelings about one’s childbirth experience. They can help reduce the need for pitocin (which makes labor feel akin to getting hit by a MACK TRUCK), forceps, vacuum extraction and cesareans. They can help get you through labor with NO DRUGS… if you want. And the best of all? Having a doula tends to result in shorter labors with fewer complications. Oh HELL yeah, I’ll take shorter labor any day.
I personally wanted a doula this time around for a few reasons….
The first time I felt a little overwhelmed by the whole process. It wasn’t so much that the first time was bad per se, I just think that looking back on it, the husband and I had some things that we didn’t like and things that we didn’t know to say to the doc/nurse/random person coming in and out of our room. Our doula is going to be our advocate… not to the doctor necessarily, but to us, to remind us of what we said we wanted and how we wanted it.
Reason #2? I’m trying it without drugs (!?!?) this time around so I wanted someone who could coach me through it. My husband is a rockstar, but I didn’t want to traumatize him with the idea that he couldn’t help because neither of us really knew what we were doing. Yes, that’s right, I said no drugs. It’s a goal people, but trust me, the only real awards they give out at the end of the day are healthy babies. And I totally think that my wonderful and slightly sarcastic doula will be reminding me during a particularly nasty contraction that I ASKED FOR THIS.
#3. In case you had forgotten, my husband is an airline pilot. And just like last time, he could potentially be in Buffalo, Providence, Midland, or whatever other glorious overnight he has with Southwest. God forbid I go into labor and he’s halfway across the country, so it would be nice to have someone with me… especially now that I live 500 miles from my mother. And truly, the thought of having my mom in the delivery room still makes me kind of twitchy. She’s just so freakin’ high energy. Gah.
The most important thing for me about the whole experience is that I’ll have someone who is there expressly for me. I don’t have to worry about anything because we’ve talked over every option that I want and that she could think of. We’ve talked over how a birth plan is really more of a guideline, a lovely thing you can write down and hope for, but at the end of the day, rolling with the punches is the best way to go. She knows my history, she knows what kind of shape I’m in, she knows what my last birth was like and how I want this one to go… and best of all, she’s actually a friend of mine, so we’ve drank together, gone to the same bookclub meetings, done playgroups with our kids, and now I am paying her to help me push a baby out of my hoohah. That’s FRIENDSHIP people.
At the end of the day, the birthing process will always be what it is. You can plan for the serene mother goddess water birth and end up with a C-Section. Or you can plan to medicate the SHIT out of yourself only to be told that it’s TOO LATE HERE COMES THE BABEEEEEE! Having someone there to get you through the process is only going to make the experience better for you and your partner in the long run.
And besides, he’ll need someone to remind him that his wife has not actually been taken over by demons and that she doesn’t mean it when she says she wants to rip off his… well, you get the idea.
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Are you interested in learning more about having a birth doula? Check out Dona International for information on birth and postpartum doulas that can support you every step of the way.
