So here are a few ways that you can tell I have two children, one of which is a BABY.
1 )I am covered in all sorts of fluids of mystery….
Except that it’s not so mysterious as I can generally pin point it to either breast milk, sweat or half digested breast milk. My husband just rolls his eyes at me and asks me why I don’t have a burp cloth on my shoulder. Which would have been super helpful had she not puked down my cleavage.
2) I am exceptionally well-showered.
Because I am always covered in fluid of mystery (see above), I find myself showering whenever humanly possible. Which, with a number 2 child that actually naps and a number 1 child that goes to school? Is fairly often. It’s also a great place to go when everyone is crying and I need some alone time. Maybe I should have a wine fridge installed in the bathroom.
3) I no longer require sleep
Don’t get me wrong, the peanut is an EXCEPTIONAL sleeper. But since she needs to get up around 11 to eat, and gets one night feeding after that, the 6:00am wake-up call of kid number 1 just about does me in. So I’m functioning (barely)…
4) The house is a total mess.
Oh wait, nevermind. The house was a mess before I had two kids… so I guess that one doesn’t count
5) I’m finding gray hairs everywhere.
Like seriously, everywhere. OMG.
6) I cannot, for the life of me, remember deodorant in the morning.
Seriously… it could be standing right in front of me and I will COMPLETELY forget it. Gross.
So pretty much, you can tell I have two children because I either am covered in gunk, have wet hair and no makeup and am straight from the shower, am slugging coffee like my life depended on it, look like an old lady or stink.
How’s it going you ask???