Today I am SO lucky to have Erin from threebythirty talking about what a new mom really needs. Now that I’m back in the trenches again I realize how hard it is to do this, especially when you don’t know what you’re doing.
Hell, this is my second time around and I’m STILL having to whip out the manual for this new kid… 
*****
Last week, a dear friend {and new momma} got in touch with me for some advice. Sleep advice. I’m not going to lie, initially I had to note the supreme irony, considering my toddler’s track record with ‘sleep’ {or…rather…the boycotting of such activity}. So, I reached into my treasure chest of ‘momentous mommy moments’ to share my experiences with sleep training my kiddos with her. After wishing her well, sending a few virtual hugs, and praying for a positive experience with her new venture; I thought about the courage my friend demonstrated in seeking out help/advice. And I applaud it.
The world we live in now is turning mommyhood, the most precious and selfless act, into an ultra-competitive game that often times results in adverse effects on the very tiny humans who are innocently at the center of it all. Opinion-driven discussion boards clog parenting websites; filled with angry posts from judgmental moms who base their feelings about a person solely upon breastfeeding vs. formula-feeding. Shallow-minded assumptions about the worthiness of a mother choosing to do what she feels is best for her child, interferes with that mother’s ability to gain confidence in herself. It takes a strong, courageous momma to look past the critics; fish through the pool of judgment, and recognize when you need help.
When my friend and I touched base again, I asked her how things were going with the sleep training ‘initiative’. I was pleased to hear the optimism in her voice as she recounted her happy highlights from the past few days. We spent over an hour catching up; chatting about mommyhood, sharing stories and discoveries in this connected world in which we both now inhabit.
I heard such honesty in her voice as she spoke about the learning curve that begins the moment the nurses place that tiny, squishy bundle in your arms. My friend acknowledged the ‘hardness’ of mommyhood, recognized that things don’t always never go as planned in the world of raising children, and expressed an honest assessment of her views on the wicked competition that can arise between moms.
It was a conversation that I genuinely loved and cherished. Non-threatening, non-competitive moms reaffirming the truth that we are all traveling this road together. Although our method of transportation might look different than everyone else’s, we still all need to move forward in order to reach our destination: honest, thoughtful, kind, compassionate children who possess a strong sense of self deep in their cores. That’s the goal, people. Raise kids who are good humans. Who are kind and loving and brave and accepting. Virtuous souls who possess the courage to do what is right, the courage to stand up for their beliefs, and the courage to reach out to others when they need help. Kudos, sweet momma friend…and sweet dreams.
Courage: the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.
Maya Angelou
Erin is mom of three, a wife of one, and a recently new Texan. She spends entirely too much time reading, not enough time working out, and can’t seem to find the time to fold and put the laundry away. She blogs at Threebythirty, where she shares stories, speaks truths, and finds a bit of sanity in a crazy, scary world. Check her out at her blog and like her on facebook for more!
