A few months ago, if you had asked me about having a second kiddo, I would have probably laughed. Not yet. Not now. In a while. Soon. These were all of the things I said to put off the inquiring minds. In fact, I was a little put off by the inquiring minds. As an only child, my decision whether or not to have a second child has been a hard and very personal one. Pressure from the outside world did not make that decision any easier, nor did it make me more inclined to get started. F you people, I’ll start on my own damn time.
Who said I was stubborn?
A month ago we decided to, as my husband so delicately puts it, “Pull the Goalie”. I was still a little nervous about the decision, but after months of thinking about it, and a baby-turned preschooler on my hands, I decided that maybe it was time. But I still wasn’t totally convinced. Was I ready for an infant? For sleepless nights, changes in a routine that had finally settled down? Doing it all over again?
But I didn’t know how much I wanted a second child until I found out I wasn’t pregnant. It was only a month. Only 4 weeks of trying. But I still thought in the back of my mind that it would happen. After all, the first time around it took only 2 weeks. But nope, not this time. And the emotional response was overwhelming and almost shocking to both the hubby and myself.
I was devastated.
I really wanted to be pregnant.
I really wanted a baby.
WHOA. That was certainly a surprise.
So for now, we wait. We try and wait, wait and try some more. And hopefully we won’t have to wait too much longer. Because I can say it out loud now… I want another baby.
But for now we start with these… ick.
