I know, I promised to start writing again this week. But ugh. Where are all of my BRAIN CELLS? Apparently getting sucked out of my body every few hours by Jaws over here, because I am still feeling fuzzy. But I will write! And get those synapses firing again! Hooray!
So yeah, I gave birth a few weeks ago. Yay! And she’s awesome and teeny tiny and totally adorbs and I love her. And all of those fears I had about having two kids, and not loving her enough, or him enough and not having enough love to give because omgawd my fiiiiiirst born will always be my baaaaaaby and how can I not just love him more than life itself… Yeah, well… like everyone said? You just do.
It helps that the first born is currently in the omfg threes and I want to give him away on a daily basis, but still… I love them both. So much that my heart hurts when I look at them with my husband. We are a perfect family of four.
WHOA hormonal much?
There’s been the requisite deluge of hormones that means I’m weeping at least every few days about how haaaaaappy I am and how much I looooooove her and she’s so small and dainty and not at all the moose that her brother was. Not to mention the fact that said moose gave her a raging cold 6 days into life and I just wept with how sad it was to hear her snuffly and coughing at 6 goddamn days old…
There’s been a lot of weeping and stream of consciousness writing over here obviously. (sotiredomg)
BUT, I must say. It really is easier for me the second time around. This kid SLEEPS! And cries a little bit, but nothing we can’t handle. And is cute to boot! And the big kid is actually an amazing help when he wants to be, so getting him off to school in the morning, coordinating those intricate dance steps of breakfast, getting dressed, nursed and out the door hasn’t been as scary as I thought it would be.
I am actually doing really well with having two kids… something that this only child was terrified of failing miserably at.
So, for now? I’ll take the small victories while I can get them.